Why strong independent women turn men OFF?
Some ideas are like a ticking bomb, they won’t explode now so you may not need to deal with it RIGHT NOW! But when the time it right, the bomb will explode, and it won’t leave anything behind. Only then, you’ll regret every single moment passed without dealing with problem when it was possible.
NOTE: This article is mainly about how men think? What they need? Also, I may have exaggerated in choosing some photos, but they look awesome, don't they?
Naturally, males seek dominance, it’s in their veins, and they were born with it. I’m not only talking about human beings, even animals have their males fight each other in order to choose the alpha male for the group. If you’re a man, you can relate to this point if you remember the school fights back when you were a teenager. Boys used to fight nearly everyday. We used to claim that it was about girls, but it was not. It was mainly tool for seeking more dominance. Who’s the strongest? Who is respected by others? Etc. etc. At that time, I can remember teenage girls competing to know who’s the most beautiful girl? Who’s grabbing more attention? Who has the most crushes in the group? Relax, we were all teenagers.
Men need to feel needed:
Although Anne was a girl, but she could describe how it exactly feels for a man when he meets a strong independent woman.
“Men don’t like strong, independent women because their roles won’t come to life if there’s no princess to be saved.” Anne Deborah Austria in Why Men Don’t Like Strong, Independent Women
If you’re a man, you may feel like a superhero for just opening that rigid jar of jam. Even if you can lift heavier weights in the gym. The thrill isn’t just the same.
A man called Cliff Young once did a small-scale research about why men reject strong independent women. And posted the results in his article “What Men Really Think About Successful, Independent Women” guess what he found?!
“Many guys have told me how they were very interested in a girl, but she kept on emphasizing her independence and all that she was able to accomplish. They were left thinking, “Where would I fit in?”
Guys want to be (or at least feel) needed. Cliff Young
A man can’t feel secure if he’s the only one needing in the relationship. He may even stop demanding anything just because he have nothing to offer in return. He’d rather end this relation than suppress his masculinity. It is OVER!
In an article mentioning why it’s harder for strong independent women to find love called 10 Reasons Why It’s Harder For Strong Women To Find Love, Rania Naim reflected the need to feel needed on love and affection, she said the following:
They don’t ‘need’ a man. They crave love and affection but they will never need a man to complete them. Love will always be a choice to them; not something they’re looking for out of fear of being alone or getting old. They’re content with their own lives and love is a sweet addition not a necessity. Rania Naim
Men need to feel respected:
Kimberly Wagner and her husband who experienced many years in a miserable state posted an article about the things that most husbands don’t like, 10 Things Your Husband Really Doesn't Like. The first reason she mentioned was about respect:
“He hates when you throw him under the bus in public.”
When you point out his faults, criticize or correct him, you make him feel like an idiot in front of others—and that’s demeaning. Don’t embarrass him in any way (especially in front of your children). [Kimberly Wagner]
That’s how we men feel. It’s about appreciation. It’s not just about saying the right thing, but also saying it in the right way. Being humiliated is harmful for both men and women, but it may also break him and turn him totally off.
When Cliff asked some women why they were still single, the most common reply was “Men are intimidated” by them.
“Many men can be intimidated by a woman who is capable of doing everything for herself. Being with an independent woman can expose weaknesses or challenge a man’s abilities in the skills that she knows, thus injuring his ego. They may look at women like this as threatening to their manhood and cause them to run.” [Cliff Young]
Injuring a man’s ego may lead to one of the two dead ends. He may either react vigorously humiliating his partner just to defend his injured ego, or retreat from such a relationship ignoring his partner to prevent any further injury.
“And remember, respect is everything” GTA2
Men need to be in control:
There’s a common Egyptian proverb that says:
"المركب اللي لها ريسين تغرق"
Which can be translated to:
“The boat that has two captains sink.”
There has to be someone holding the driving wheel, there has to be only one driving the wheel. And from the dominance point of view, it has to be the male. If the male isn’t the one holding the driving wheel, then there is no male on that ship.
Cliff described it in his simple way when he said:
“Guys want to be the “man” in the relationship.” [Cliff Young]
Although it’s too obvious to mention it, being the man in the relationship is the guy’s job not the girl.
Women who think with the strong independent mentality, are not likely to accept to be controlled by anyone. They see boundaries as barriers from freedom even if boundaries present the major difference between freedom and bohemia.
Summing Up...
What I’m saying here is:
- A relationship is about two partners depending on each other, they feel stronger by the presence of each other.
- Trying to satisfy your own needs completely by yourself hurts the people around you because they don’t feel needed. Besides, it’s nearly impossible to completely satisfy yourself by yourself.
- A man is not turned off from the STRONG woman, because he needs a strong woman beside him to motivate him, to survive with him, and to raise strong children. But he is turned off from the INDEPENDENT woman.
- Dominance is the key need for men; which can be broken down to being needed, respected, and in control.
- Most importantly!! Not all men are turned off from strong independent women, only the men who refuse to act vigorously and humiliate their partners are turned off.
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